when I tell people I didn't dance until my mid 30's their jaws drop. but its the truth. I remember going to a middle school dance and getting robbed for my dads watch. I remember not ever learning how to dance and wondering why I came. so for years, I didn't. I liked music. and could keep rhythm. but didn't know how to move to it. it wasn't until my son was able to stand and dance that I started to not care about who was watching. there are moments in my life that stand out with regards to music. before she passed away- my aunt frequently went out. battling cancer she wanted to celebrate the end of her life. and going to some of the places we went out to, she would always want to dance. one day they were playing the electric slide and she all but begged and talked shit for me to join. I didn't. it wasn't until a few years later when a girl I met who would become my girlfriend for a time introduced me into electronic music. it started with the love songs by Alina baraz and trance by above and beyond. then she took me to crssd in San Diego. dancing with her helped remove the fear of feeling like a fool and after some time I realized I enjoyed dancing. I did still feel self conscious but I enjoyed getting to be free in my body. we had dated for almost 4 years. lived together and traveled the state and more with each other, me and my best friend during covid felt like we could make it through anything. eventually we broke up. and I realized I didn't have friends of my own in the rave community but I didnt want to give up this new feeling I had. so I didn't. I forced myself on a bus in the middle of the night to clubs and undergrounds solo. it was lonely sometimes, sometimes it was a bust. but when I closed my eyes and danced to the music- I didn't notice I was alone. so I kept dancing. fast forward to a year later and here we are. music has changed my life. I feel so grateful. I have a healthy circle of friends, I've accepted my power as a leader, I am getting in shape, I've organized multiple meets, helped so many people and been blessed so much by the community I care so much about I am investing the time into projects like this to keep it alive.
dancing is more than exercise. more than a mashup of movement to sounds. it is a forgotten language, a direct connection to the unseen world around us. and for the first time in my life I think everyone should dance.
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